Not The Way We Dream Christmas Will Be

Last night, which I hoped would be my 1st night in a week of sleeping in bed . . . ie, Merry Christmas to me, my shoulder doesn't hurt.

As I lay in bed, the whole evenings emotions came flooding to the surface . . . Christmas just sucks.

Yes, you heard me right, Christmas just sucks!

Not the birth of the Christ Child. That is beautiful.

Not the "tis better to give than receive," that is pretty great too.

Not the joy of getting together with the youngest generation of the family, that is what Christmas is about . . the joy of a child.

It's all the memories of Christmas' past that come flooding back from the depths of one's brain to the forefront. All of the wonderful memories that were created in  my childhood with people who are no longer here. 

Dad and Mom, sometime in 1953.

Every Christmas Eve we would get dressed in our "Christmas finery" and go to Mom's best friend Dolores' house until they left for Midnight Mass. Eddie, her husband, would always try to organize all 5 of the combined family's kids into a "play."

Then Eddie would "see" Santa and the reindeer flying over the skies of Logan and we "had to get home" so Santa would stop.

Dolores and Eddie had 3 children, Kackee, Tom and Steve . . . Steve is the only one in the family still alive. Kackee died quite a while ago and Tom, who is now Father Ed, died this fall form Cancer. 

When we left there, so they could go to Midnight Mass, we would go to Herbie and Kady's. Spend a couple of hours there with them, their sons Jack and Rick and, later on, Herbies brother "my Uncle Bernard", his wife Kate, and the older guys girlfriends, and the girlfriends parents.

Well, Kady died of cancer, a nasty one too, Herbie died of cirrhosis of the liver, Jack died, several years before we moved here in 2006, from, I believe, an overdose and was found, several days later by his youngest son. Since we've been here Rick has also died . . perhaps from a heart attack, though I'm not sure.

So, see what I am talking about . . . of the 9 people outside of my family who made Christmas special and my own parents, grandmother and brother, there are only three of us alive this year.

Probably Dad's Last Christmas . . . 22 Dec 1981.
He looks so tired and sore . . his knees were bothering him so much.
Within three months he had died . . .
the evening he returned home from knee replacement surgery,
From Left: My brother Lee,
 the back of the youngest nephew, Matthew (who is now the father of my Miss E),
Dad, Lauren and Allison lying on the floor.
No idea where Chris was.

Add to that the fact that my brother and his four children are spending their Christmas in Alabama, at the favorite sunny, sandy spot of his wife so they will be able to spread some of her ashes from her cremation last Feb on her favorite beach . . . 

Can you understand why I think Christmas Day sucks?

Then, there is here in my own home. To be perfectly honest, after Mom and Dad died, I liked spending Christmas alone at home. One of the saddest things to do is to be invited to, and accept, a Christmas invitation from a family who celebrates Christmas their way. There is nothing wrong with their way, but it is like rubbing salt into an open wound. I could be happy for them, while my heart broke.

My brother's family tradition, once Mom and Dad died, was to have me over on Christmas Eve for dinner and exchange gifts . . . but Christmas Day I was on my own got used to it, enjoyed the solitude.

Now, we are "celebrating" Christmas 2013. My Christmas, New Years, Birthday, Wedding, and every other gift giving holiday was new dentures. Romantic, huh? He had lost his partials and was in dire need of a good set of teeth . . he has never had good ones, poor guy.

He kept asking me what I wanted for Christmas. Every once in a while I would say, :I'd like this," or "I think I would like that." Nothing major, usually "something seen on TV, like one of those things you use to make your hair into an easy bun.

Then, a couple weeks ago, we decided to buy things for teenagers for our local Rockin' Round the Christmas Tree" which collects new items, wraps them and labels the age appropriateness and has a HUGE party for the less fortunate in town. 

This made me feel great. When we put them in the container at our local diner, we found out that everything else in the barrel had been bought by one of the waitresses. So we went to Big Lots and bought a bunch of games that would be age appropriate for teenagers.

Both of these buying sprees made me happy.

Now, we are "celebrating" Christmas day. And I use the term "celebrating" loosely.

I made it until around 2:00 am in bed until my shoulder pain started, so I came downstairs and slept, night 10 of sleeping on the sofa.

I woke up at 8:00 am, and the husband came down about 9:00 am. It is now 10:48 and the husband is finally going through his sock. Guess opening isn't that important to him :( 

Am I pathetic. . . .Yes I am. But, if you have made it this far with me, there were highlights and here they are.

Christmas Day is for the children:)

Whoops . . . . looks like a "sideways" view of Christmas . . . LOLOL

Now for the my personal hi-lights. . . . 

I had the husband open  his "surprises" and he was surprised. I had picked up some fun things from those catalogs that have everything you need but never buy . . . figured out his was actually a themed Christmas . . . 4 kitchen towels (I found them packed away from last year), a disc to put in the brown sugar to keep it soft( is yours always as hard as ours is?) two small spatulas for getting those small pieces of whatever out of an 8" x 8" pan( we had one and I broke it . . . been looking for a replacement for several years, hope one of these works), a GIANT spatula that could "flip" 4 hamburgers at a time or use to take a pizza from an oven (QVC special . . . bought one for the hubby, one for my brother and one for our nephew here in NY  . . . Lee and the nephew always grill when we are with them), four of those "thingies" that you can use to seal pie dough around fruit or pasta dough around ravioli filling . . .  the husband says they look like three different size of dentures . . . and the BEST of all, a pair of jeans that will fit and look decent. He has needed them for right some time and I decided now was the time to get them.

Then I opened the three boxes that came to us from my BFF. Old Mule Peanut Brittle, divinity and some kind of seasoned nuts, from Tennessee. 

Next, a box from my cousins. Last year I said, "Remember, only food we make for Christmas  because we each make our own special stuff that each other likes."

Well, they did well . . . white covered Bugle party mix, some Buffalo popcorn, York peppermint patties, Homemade pretzel turtles, a bag of dog treats and cat treats, a dog bone and, the funniest sign om a stand that says, "Our Family Tree Is Full Of Nuts!"   PERFECT box from home.

Then, last, but not least, the box from all my nieces and nephews at home. First one brought the tears that had been so close to the brim . . a green sack with a thick rectangle wrapped in bubble wrap . . my youngest nephew, Matt, holding Miss E . . . one of my favorite      pictures that his wife, E's mom, took of her "twins." Next, a sleeve of Christmas cookies made by Lauren, the niece who is having the worst time with her mommas' death. Third, a bottle of wine from Chris who knows his Aunt Paula likes what he likes and, on the bottom, the coolest Snowman table runner. When I talk with them I will have to find out who made it . . . it has no tag from something that was store bought, so I know it's handmade.

Oh, and last but not least . . , one of the packages in the cousins package was wrapped in paper towels . . yes, we are THAT cool . . . said "Hairy Christmas" on i t. Opened it and there is the Duck Dynasty Christmas CD . . . listening to it right now . . what a hoot. We don't watch the show, but we know who they are and have seen them on other shows . . . this is really a good "family" album. If you have little kids, I would suggest  you get it for them . . they will LOVE it!

Now, I think I am ready to enjoy a normal Christmas and wait for Saturday night when we celebrate with my husband's family . . THEN it will officially be Christmas here in Western New York.

First REAL Snow

We had some snow earlier in the week. As a matter of fact, when I went out to clear the front steps Friday afternoon, of the white stuff, I found the ground before I found the bottom step . . . I wiped out and went "ass over apple cart" into the snow that was there :(

Isn't Indy the prettiest thing?
I took this picture today,
15 December 2013.
Look at how
 she automatically crosses her paws
 when she lies down.

Actually, it wasn't all that bad, I just got snow all over my clothes, and we were going to a concert (Spyro Gira, a jazz ensemble from the 1970's) with my SIL and her hubby. So I go inside and tell the husband to meet me in the bathroom . . he gave me the funniest look, but followed me in saying, "What do you want me in the bathroom for?"

When I turned on the light, I said, "I need a clothes brusher for my backside."

I had snow all down the back and side of my right pant leg, and down the side of my right arm . . . so, I spent the first part of the evening (dinner at a local pub  . . Friday Night Fish Fry and they had PERCH . . . which is what I ALWAYS had in Indiana at the Fish Fries there.) with wet pants and a damp shirt.

But, all in all, the concert was great so, I guess, the fall and clean steps made the evening worthwhile . . . at least, it made them clear for the snow that started overnight Friday/Saturday.

It snowed, light, fluffy flakes all day Saturday and this is what we ended up with today.

I thought this would give you an idea of the depth of the snow.
Indy was enjoying being able to smell the ground.
She LOVES the snow, but it throws her "smeller" off.

One of our neighbors, across the street, came over and snow-blowed the driveway and front sidewalk. You can tell in the picture he even cleaned a path to the back door and to the passenger door of the van.

He will DEFINITELY get some early Christmas cookies and Chex Mix as a thank you from us.

Talk about "Christmas-y" front steps!
You can see I cleaned myself a path
and I did it C*A*R*E*F*U*L*L*Y!

Before I cleaned off the front steps, again, this time from the bottom up so I wouldn't wipe out again, I took Indy to the back yard for a run . . . she is SUCH A SNOW DOG!

The rest of the day has been quiet. I spent most of the afternoon with Abigail . . . every once in a while she gets the urge to lay on my chest like she did as a kitten. I just can't tell her no. She is an older lady, so I am always worried it might be our last nuzzling time.

When she first came to live with me, she would crawl up on my left shoulder and lie over my left breast. I wonder if she could hear or feel my heart beat? To this day, she still lays with her head on my left side.

Christmas 2013 . . . Official Here

"It's Beginning to look a lot like Christmas" 

at our house.

Decorated the outside of the house
before we got any snow.

Looks like one of Santa's Elves is helping.

I love blue and snowmen in the winter.
Always gives everything a cold look..

First snow and the blue lights twinkling.

Our neighbors . . .
light in waiting for hubby to get home.

Santa's elf again,
setting up to start on his mother's Cut Out Cookie recipe.

Package arrived from a local florist yesterday.

A poinsettia from my brother and

some delicious candies.
(This are has some of the best chocolatiers!)

Bathroom window . . .
the garland is made from blue ribbon and
 the remainder of the small snowflakes
I crocheted for our wedding invitations,
church program and reception brochure.
Always wondered
 just how many of these little buggers I actually crocheted.

We found this wreath this year . . .
no idea why we bought it but it  looks
WONDERFUL on the bathroom wall.

And last, but not least . . .
I made these snowflake shower curtains
quite a while ago.
I know we had them several years
 before we moved in 2006.
They are the reason I decorate
the bathroom in blue hues.

Christmas Food.

I've spent most of the last several days working on Christmas presents for M and E. There is a three year age difference, but I think M will enjoy hers now, and E will get hers for her 2nd birthday.

Oh, what am I making? I making them food so their imagination can figure out what to do with what I make.

Here is what I have made so far.

These have to be Red Delicious . . they are HUGE.

LOVE my curly bacon.

I think these are just adorable.

These are beets,
but I figure the kids will think
they are giant radishes :)

Breakfast is served.

Ii may have to make some English  muffins for these.

I lost one of the white eggs.
(Found it after taking the pictures.)
I will end up with four of each color shown,
plus four yellow-er ecru eggs.
I figured give each girl half of everything I make.

Pancakes with butter pats.
Going to publish this pattern for free . . so easy, but so cute!

Next, I'm going to try to make a picnic basket for each girl to hold their food. Right now, I'm hoping a 12" x 12" square and 12" high should be a good start. But I have a feeling, the food will overflow the picnic baskets . . . isn't that the way picnic baskets work?